Movie Quotes - Movie Sounds - Movie Wavs

 






 

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All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).


12oriwalk.wav(439K) 12oriwalk.mp3(439K) 12oriwalk.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dante Hicks (Brian O'Halloran): "Hello. What? No, I don't work today. I'm playing hockey at 2:00. Why don't you call Randal? 'Cause I'm bleepin' tired! I just closed last night. Jesus. What time do you think you're gonna come in. 12:00? Be there by 12:00? Where? Swear you'll be there by 12:00 and I'll do it. 12:00 or I walk."


thatmoves.wav(121K) thatmoves.mp3(121K) thatmoves.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jay (Jason Mewes): "I feel good today, Silent Bob. We're gonna make some money. And you know what we're gonna do? We're gonna go to that party and get some pussy. I'm gonna bleep this bitch, I'm gonna bleep this bitch. I'm gonna bleep anything that moves."


lookinat.wav(156K) lookinat.mp3(156K) lookinat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jay: "Man, what the bleep you lookin' at? I'll kick your bleepin' ass! Shit, yeah. Don't that motherbleeper owe me ten bucks? You know, bleepin', tonight we're going to rip off this bleeper's head, take out his bleepin' soul. Remind me if he tries no buy something. I'm gonna bleep in the motherbleeper's bag."


whatupbaby.wav(33K) whatupbaby.mp3(33K) whatupbaby.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jay: "Yo, what's up, baby? What's up, sluts?"


yourerude.wav(25K) yourerude.mp3(25K) yourerude.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jay: "Silent Bob, you're a rude motherbleeper, you know that?"




cuteashell.wav(125K) cuteashell.mp3(125K) cuteashell.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jay: "You're cute as hell. I could go down on you, suck you, line up three other guys, make like a circus seal. Eww, you bleepin' faggot. I hate guys. I love women!"


ilovewomen.wav(20K) ilovewomen.mp3(20K) ilovewomen.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jay: "I love women!"


grizzlyadams.wav(17K) grizzlyadams.mp3(17K) grizzlyadams.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jay: "What you want, Grizzly Adams?"


heretoday.wav(26K) heretoday.mp3(26K) heretoday.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dante: "I'm not even supposed to be here today."


beingwatched.wav(229K) beingwatched.mp3(229K) beingwatched.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Veronica Loughran (Marilyn Ghigliotti): "How much money did you leave up there?"
Dante: "Like three dollars in mixed change and a couple of singles. This time in the morning, people just get a paper or coffee."
Veronica: "You're trusting."
Dante: "Why do you say that?"
Veronica: "How do you know they're taking the right amount of change or even paying for what they take."
Dante: "Theoretically, people see money on the counter, no one around, they think they're being watched."
Veronica: "Honesty through paranoia."


beautifulman.wav(23K) beautifulman.mp3(23K) beautifulman.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Willam Black (Scott Mosier): "That's beautiful, man."


im37.wav(700K) im37.mp3(700K) im37.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dante: "Wait, but you said you only had sex with three different guys; you never mentioned him!"
Veronica: "Because I never had sex with him."
Dante: "You sucked his dick!"
Veronica: "We went out a few times. We never had sex but we fooled around."
Dante: "Oh my god, why did you tell me you only had sex with three different guys?"
Veronica: "Because I did only have sex with three different guys; that doesn't mean I didn't just go with people."
Dante: "Oh my god, I feel so nauseous!"
Veronica: "I'm sorry, Dante, I thought you understood!"
Dante: "I did understand! I understood that you had sex with three different guys and that's all you said!"
Veronica: "Please calm down."
Dante: "How many?"
Veronica: "Dante..."
Dante: "How many dicks have you sucked?"
Veronica: "Let it go!"
Dante: "How many?"
Veronica: "All right, shut up a second and I'll tell you! Jesus! I didn't freak out like this when you told me how many girls you bleeped!"
Dante: "This is different, this is important. How many? Well?"
Veronica: "Something like... 36."
Dante: "What? Something like 36?"
Veronica: "Lower your voice."
Dante: "Wait a minute, what is that anyway, something like 36? Does that include me?"
Veronica: "Uh, 37."
Dante: "I'm 37!"


inarow.wav(41K) inarow.mp3(41K) inarow.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dante: "37! My girlfriend's sucked 37 dicks!"
Customer with Diapers (Mike Belicose): "In a row?"


parkinglot.wav(63K) parkinglot.mp3(63K) parkinglot.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dante: "Hey, try not to suck any dick one the way through the parking lot! (A guy listening to this heads to the parking lot) Hey, hey you, get back here!"


sinceirule.wav(48K) sinceirule.mp3(48K) sinceirule.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Randal Graves (Jeff Anderson): "Hey, I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule."


crazyBLEEP.wav(205K) crazyBLEEP.mp3(205K) crazyBLEEP.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Randal: "Chick only made you nuts, man. She cheated on you how many times?"
Dante: "Eight and a half."
Randal: "Eight and a half?"
Dante: "Party at John Kay's, senior year; I get blitzed, pass out in his bedroom. Caitlin comes is and jumps all over me."
Randal: "So, that's cheating?"
Dante: "No. In the middle of it she called me Brad."
Randal: "She called you Brad?"
Dante: "Called me Brad."
Randal: "That's not cheating. People say crazy bleep during sex. One time I called this girl 'Mom'."


happyscrappy.wav(660K) happyscrappy.mp3(660K) happyscrappy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

'Happy Scrappy' Mom (): "Excuse me, do you sell videos?"
Randal: "Yeah, what're you looking for?"
'Happy Scrappy' Mom: "Happy Scrappy Hero Pup."
Randal: "Uh, one second. I'm on the phone with the distribution house now, lemme make sure we got it. What's it called again?"
'Happy Scrappy' Mom: "Happy Scrappy Hero Pup."
'Happy Scrappy' Kid: "Happy Scrappy."
'Happy Scrappy' Mom: "She loves it."
Randal: "Obviously. Uh, yeah, hi, this is RST Video calling, customer number 4352, I'd like to place an order. Okay, I need one each of the following tapes: "Whispers in the Wind", "To Each His Own", "Put It Where It Doesn't Belong", "My Pipes Need Cleaning", "All Tit-bleeping Volume 8", "I Need Your Cock", "Ass-Worshipping Rim-Jobbers", "My bleep--> Needs Shafts", "bleep Clean", "bleep-Gargling Naked Sluts", "bleep Buns III", "bleepming in Socks", "bleep On Eileen", "Huge Black Cocks and Pearly White bleep", "Girls Who Crave Cock", "Girls Who Crave bleep-->", "Men Alone II: the KY Connection", "Pink Pussy Lips", oh yeah, and, uh, "All Holes Filled with Hard Cock". Yep. Oh, wait a minute, uh, what was that called again?"


mycousin.wav(36K) mycousin.mp3(36K) mycousin.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jay: "I don't care if she's my cousin or not, I'm gonna knock those boots again, tonight."


berserker.wav(289K) berserker.mp3(289K) berserker.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jay: "Olaf, 'Beserker'. Come on, man, 'Berserker'!"
Jay's Lady Friend (Leslie Hope): "Does he sing in English or Russian?"
Jay: "In English. Come on, 'Berserker'. Girls think sexy."
Olaf (John Henry Westhead): "Aah. Aah."
Jay: "Oh, watch, , wait, he's gonna sing it. Watch, it's too funny."
Olaf: "My love for you is like a truck, berserker. Would you like some making bleep, berserker."
Jay: "That's bleepin' funny, man."
Jay's Lady Friend: "Did he say making bleep?"


berserker2.wav(131K) berserker2.mp3(131K) berserker2.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Olaf: "My love for you is like ticking clock, berserker. Would you like to suck my cock, berserker."
Willam Black: "That's beautiful, man."


jediorempire.wav(239K) jediorempire.mp3(239K) jediorempire.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Randal: "What did you lke better: Jedi or The Empire Strikes Back?"
Dante: "Empire."
Randal: "Blasphemy."
Dante: "Empire had the better ending. I mean, Luke get's his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father. Han get's frozen, taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is: a series of down endings. All Jedi had was a bunch of Muppets."


2nddeathstar.wav(960K) 2nddeathstar.mp3(960K) 2nddeathstar.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Randal: "There was something else going on in Jedi. I never noticed it 'til today. They build another Death Star, Right?"
Dante: "Yeah."
Randal: "Now, the first one was completed and fully operational before the rebels destroyed it."
Dante: "Luke blew it up. Give credit where credit's due."
Randal: "And the second one was still being built when they blew it up."
Dante: "Comliments of Lando Calrissian."
Randal: "Something just never sat right with me that second time around. I could never put my finger on it, but something just wasn't right."
Dante: "And you figured it out."
Randal: "The first Death Star was manned by the Imperial army. The only people on board were Storm troopers, Dignitaries, Imperialists."
Dante: "Basically."
Randal: "So when they blew it up, no problem. Evil's punished."
Dante: "And the second time around?"
Randal: "The second time around it wasn't even done beind built yet. It was still under construction."
Dante: "So?"
Randal: "So, a construction job of that magnitude would require a hell of lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet they brought independent contractors in on that thing. Plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers--"
Dante: "Not just Imperialists. Is that what you're getting at?"
Randal: "Exactly. In order to get it built quickly and quietly, they'd hire anybody that could do the job. You think the average Storm Trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All's they know is killing and white uniforms."
Dante: "Alright, so, they bring in independent contractors. Why are you so upset at it's destruction."
Randal: "All those innocent contractors brought in to do the job are killed, casualtios of a war they had nothing to do with. Alright, look, you a roofer. Some juicy government contract comes your way. You got a wife and kids, the two-story in suburbia. This is a government contract which means all sorts of benefits. Along come these left-wing militants who blast everything within a three-mile radius with their lasers. You didn't ask for that; you had no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living."


contractors.wav(815K) contractors.mp3(815K) contractors.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Blue Collar Man: "Excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt, but, uh, what are you talking about?"
Randal: "The ending of Return of the Jedi."
Dante: "My friend here is trying to convince me that any independent contractors who were working on the Death Star were innocent victims when they were destroyed by the rebels."
Blue Collar Man: "Well, I'm a contractor myself. I'm a roofer. 'Done and Ready Home Improvements'. And speaking as a roofer, I can tell you a roofer's personal politics comes into play heavily when choosing jobs."
Randal: "Like when?"
Blue Collar Man: "Three weeks ago, I was offered a job up in the hills, beautiful house, ton's of property, a simple re-shingling job. They told me if I could finish it in one day, I would double my price. Then I realized whose house it was."
Dante: "Whose house was it?"
Blue Collar Man: "Dominic Bambino's."
Randal: "Baby Face Bambino, teh gangster?"
Blue Collar Man: "The same! The money was right, but the risk was too high. I know who he was, and based on that, I turned the job over to a friend of mine."
Dante: "Bosed on personal politics."
Blue Collar Man: "Right! And the next week, the Foresie family put a hit on Baby Face's house. My friend was shot and killed. Didn't even finish re-shingling."
Randal: "No way."
Blue Collar Man: "I'm alive because I knew the risk involved in that particular client. My friend wasn't so lucky. Any contractor working on that Death Star knew the risk involved. If they got killed, it's their own fault. A roofer listen's to this, not his wallet."


theseanygood.wav(878K) theseanygood.mp3(878K) theseanygood.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Indecisive Video Customer (Donna Jeanne): "They say so much, but they never tell you if it's any good... are either one of these any good? Sir?"
Randal: "What?"
Indecisive Video Customer: "Are either one of these any good?"
Randal: "I don't watch movies."
Indecisive Video Customer: "Well, have you heard anything about either one of them?"
Randal: "I find it's best to stay out of other people's affairs."
Indecisive Video Customer: "You mean you've haven't heard anybody say anything about either one of these?"
Randal: "Nope."
Indecisive Video Customer: "(Turns around, then shows Randal the same movies) Well, what about these two?"
Randal: "Oh, they suck."
Indecisive Video Customer: "These are the same two movies! You weren't paying any attention!"
Randal: "No, I wasn't."
Indecisive Video Customer: "I don't think your manager would appreciate..."
Randal: "I don't appreciate your ruse, ma'am."
Indecisive Video Customer: "I beg your pardon?"
Randal: "Your ruse; your cunning attempt to trick me."
Indecisive Video Customer: "I was only pointing out that you weren't paying any attention to what I was saying!"
Randal: "And, I hope it feels good."
Indecisive Video Customer: "You hope what feels good?"
Randal: "I hope it feels so good to be right. There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?"
Indecisive Video Customer: "Well, this is the last time I rent here!"
Randal: "You'll be missed."
Indecisive Video Customer: "Screw you!"
Randal: "Hey! You're not allowed to rent here anymore!"
Jay: "Yeah!"
Randal: "Screw me?"


endinnine.wav(56K) endinnine.mp3(56K) endinnine.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dante: "Did you ever notice that all the prices end in nine? Damn that's eerie."


customers.wav(52K) customers.mp3(52K) customers.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Randal: "Everybody that comes in here is way too uptight. This job would be great if it wasn't for the bleeping customers."


loosenup.wav(74K) loosenup.mp3(74K) loosenup.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dante: "Jesus, I'm gonn hear from the boss tomorrow."
Randal: "Oh, would you loosen up? You'd feel a hell of a lot better if you'd just rip into the occasional customer."


pissyouoff.wav(522K) pissyouoff.mp3(522K) pissyouoff.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Randal: "You'd feel a hell of a lot better if you'd just rip into the occasional customer."
Dante: "Why? I-I don't bother them and they don't bother me."
Randal: "Oh, liar! Tell me there aren't customers that annoy the piss out of you on a daily basis."
Dante: "There aren't."
Randal: "How can you lie like that? Why don't you vent? Vent your frustrations. Come on, who pisses you off?"
Dante: "Well, I guess it isn't customers in particular. Maybe just a group of customers."
Randal: "Well, let's hear it."
Dante: "Well, the milk maids."
Randal: "The milk maids?"
Dante: "The women that go through every gallon of milk, looking for that later date as if somewhere beyond all the other gallons, is a container of milk that won't go bad for like a decade."
Randal: "You know who I could do without? I could do without the people in the video store."
Dante: "Which ones?"
Randal: "All of 'em."


thatone.wav(46K) thatone.mp3(46K) thatone.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Low I.Q. Video Customer (David Klein): "Do you have that one with that guy who was in that movie that was out last year?"


oohnavyseals.wav(27K) oohnavyseals.mp3(27K) oohnavyseals.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Low I.Q. Video Customer: "Ooh, Navy seals!"


hubcaps.wav(43K) hubcaps.mp3(43K) hubcaps.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Hubcap Searching Customer (David Klein): "Do you sell hubcaps for a '72 Pinto hatchback? Ooh, Mini-Trucker magazine."


heretoday2.wav(20K) heretoday2.mp3(20K) heretoday2.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dante: "I'm not even supposed to be here today!"


vermont.wav(97K) vermont.mp3(97K) vermont.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Randal: "Vermont?"
Dante: "Can you bleepin' believe this?"
Randal: "He didn't mention that to you this morning?"
Dante: "Not a word. Not a bleeping word, that slippery bleep!"
Randal: "So, what, you're stuck here all day?"
Dante: "bleep!"


believethis.wav(17K) believethis.mp3(17K) believethis.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dante: "Can you bleepin' believe this?"


danteBLEEP.wav(10K) danteBLEEP.mp3(10K) danteBLEEP.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dante: "bleep!"


apologize.wav(384K) apologize.mp3(384K) apologize.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dante: "bleep!"
Randal: "Why'd you apologize?"
Dante: "What?"
Randal: "I heard you apologize. Why? You had every reason in the world to be mad."
Dante: "I know."
Randal: "Jesus, that seems to be the leitmotif in your life. Ever backing down."
Dante: "I don't back down!"
Randal: "You always back down. You assume blame that's not yours. You come in on your day off; you buckle like a belt."
Dante: "Do you know what really pisses me off?"
Randal: "That fact that I'm right about your buckling?"
Dante: "That I'm gonna miss the bleeping game!"
Randal: "Because you buckled."
Dante: "Will you shut up with that bleep. It ain't helping!"
Randal: "Ah, don't yell at me, pal."
Dante: "I'm sorry."
Randal: "See? There you go again."
Dante: "I can't believe I'm gonna miss the bleeping game."
Randal: "Ah, at least we're stuck here together."
Dante: "You got a customer."
Randal: "What? What do you want?"


doyouwant.wav(42K) doyouwant.mp3(42K) doyouwant.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dante: "You got a customer."
Randal: "What? What do you want?"


insubordination.wav(118K) insubordination.mp3(118K) insubordination.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Randal: "I got to tell you, my friend, this is one of the ballsiest moves I've ever been privey to. I would've never thought you capable of such a blatant disregard of store policy."
Dante: "Hey, I told him I had a game today. It's his own fault."
Randal: "No arguments here. Insubordination rules."


anyballs.wav(49K) anyballs.mp3(49K) anyballs.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dante: "Hey, are there any balls down there?"
Jay: "About the biggest pair you ever seen, dingleberry."


heretoday3.wav(50K) heretoday3.mp3(50K) heretoday3.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dante: "bleep! bleep, bleep, bleep! I'm not even supposed to be here today."


brokehisneck.wav(780K) brokehisneck.mp3(780K) brokehisneck.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dante: "What an embarrassing way to die."
Randal: "That's nothing compared to how my cousin Walter died."
Dante: "How did he die?"
Randal: "He broke his neck."
Dante: "That's embarrassing?"
Randal: "He broke his neck trying to suck his own dick."
Dante: "Shut the hell up."
Randal: "I swear."
Dante: "Stop it."
Randal: "Bible truth."
Dante: "Oh, my god."
Randal: "Come on, haven't you tried to suck your own dick?"
Dante: "No."
Randal: "Yeah, rught. You're so repressed."
Dante: "Because I never tried to suck my own dick?"
Randal: "No, because you won't admit to it. As if a guy's a bleeping pervert 'cause he tries to go down on himself. You're as curious as the rest of us, pal. You've tried it."
Dante: "Who found him?"
Randal: "My cousin? Mom found him. It was a mess. He was on his bed, with his legs doubled over himself. Mom freaked out."
Dante: "Made it, huh? Dick in his mouth?"
Randal: "Yeah. Balls resting on his lips."
Dante: "Wow. He really made it."
Randal: "Yeah, but at what a price."
Dante: "I can rever reach."
Randal: "Reach what?"
Dante: "You know."
Randal: "What, your dick?"
Dante: "Yeah, like you said, I guess everyone get's culrious and tries it sometime."
Randal: "I never tried it. bleeping pervert."


thecasket.wav(183K) thecasket.mp3(183K) thecasket.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dante: "I can't bleepin' believe you!"
Randal: "I'm telling you, it wasn't my fault."
Dante: "You knocked the casket over, for Christ's sake!"
Randal: "I was just leaning on it. It was an accident."
Dante: "Like someone knocks a casket over on purpose!"
Randal: "So the casket fell over. Big deal."
Dante: "Her bleeping body fell out!"
Randal: "They'll put her back in it. It's not like it matters if she breaks something."


thevideostore.wav(208K) thevideostore.mp3(208K) thevideostore.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dante: "Just go-- Just go open the video store."
Jay: "Yeah, open the video store."
Randal: "Shut the bleep up, junkie!"
Dante: "Just-- Just go open the video store!"
Jay: "Yeah, you cock-smokin' clerk."
Dante: "And how many times have I told you not to be dealing in front of the store?"
Jay: "I'm not dealing. What're you talking about?"
Drug Buyer: "Yo, you got anything, man?"
Jay: "Yeah, what you want?"


goodmovie.wav(198K) goodmovie.mp3(198K) goodmovie.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Randal: "Hey, let me borrow your car."
Dante: "I don't want to talk to you."
Randal: "Fine, just let me borrow your car."
Dante: "Why should I loan you my car?"
Randal: "I want to rent a movie."
Dante: "You want to rent a movie."
Randal: "I want to rent a movie."
Dante: "(sighs)"
Randal: "What's that for?"
Dante: "You work in a video store!"
Randal: "I work in a bleepty video store. I want to go to a good video store so I can get a good movie."


annoyingcustomer.wav(71K) annoyingcustomer.mp3(71K) annoyingcustomer.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cat Admiring Bitter Customer (Walt Flanagan): "And a pack of cigarettes. Cute cat. What's it's name?"
Randal: "Annoying customer."
Cat Admiring Bitter Customer: "bleeping dickhead."


yeahnotyet.wav(95K) yeahnotyet.mp3(95K) yeahnotyet.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Randal: "So, I'm no more responsible for my decisions here than, say, a death squad soldier in Bosnia?"
Dante: "Oh, now that's stretching it. You're not being asked to slay children or anything."
Randal: "Yeah, not yet."


dothatfor.wav(334K) dothatfor.mp3(334K) dothatfor.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dante: "What the bleep did you do that for?"
Randal: "Two reasons: one, I hate it when people can't shut up about the stupid tabloid headlines,..."
Dante: "Oh, jesus."
Randal: "...and two, to prove a point. Title does not dictate behavior."
Dante: "What?"
Randal: "If title dictated my behavior as a clerk serving the public, I wouldn't be allowed to spit water at that guy, but I did. So, my point is that people dictate their own behavior. Even though I work in a video store, I choose to go rent at Big Choice. Agreed?"
Dante: "You are a danger to both the dead and the living."
Randal: "I like to think I'm a master of my own destiny."
Dante: "Please get the hell outta here."
Randal: "You know I'm your hero."


youareadanger.wav(72K) youareadanger.mp3(72K) youareadanger.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dante: "You are a danger to both the dead and the living."
Randal: "I like to think I'm a master of my own destiny."
Dante: "Please get the hell outta here."
Randal: "You know I'm your hero."


savages.wav(18K) savages.mp3(18K) savages.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Randal: "Bunch of savages in this town."


poopooweewee.wav(77K) poopooweewee.mp3(77K) poopooweewee.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Randal: "Why don't you go join her? Make a little bathroom bam-bam."
Dante: "Ah, I love your sexy talk. It's so kindergarten. Poo-poo, wee-wee."
Randal: "bleep you."


whatkindof.wav(94K) whatkindof.mp3(94K) whatkindof.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Coroner (Pattijean Csik): "My question is, how did she come to have sex with a dead man?"
Dante: "She thought it was me."
Coroner: "What king of convenience store do you run here?"


intheBLEEPter.wav(258K) intheBLEEPter.mp3(258K) intheBLEEPter.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dante: "I'm stuck in this pit, working for less than slave wages, working on my day off. The bleepdamn steel shutters are closed. I deal with every backward-assed bleep on the planet. I smell like shoe polish. My ex-girlfriend in catatonic after bleeping a dead guy. And my present girlfriend has sucked 36 dicks."
Randal: "Thirty-seven."
Dante: "My life's in the bleepter right now, and if you don't mind, I'd like to stew a bit."


smokinweed.wav(69K) smokinweed.mp3(69K) smokinweed.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jay: "Noich, noich, noich. Smokin' weed, smokin' weed, doin' coke, drinkin' beers."


poisoningyouth.wav(171K) poisoningyouth.mp3(171K) poisoningyouth.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jay: "Pack O' Rass, my good man. Time to kick back, drink some beers and smoke some weed!"
Dante: "Done poisoning the youth for today, huh?"
Jay: "Hells yes, what ever that means. Now it's time to head over to atlantic, drink some beers, get ripped and hopefully, get laid."
Dante: "$1.79."
Jay: "Pay the good man."


hangout.wav(166K) hangout.mp3(166K) hangout.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jay: "Yo, you close soon?"
Dante: "Half an hour."
Jay: "Yo, we get off the same time every day. We should hang out. You get high?"
Dante: "I should start."
Jay: "Wanna come to this party with me tonight? There's gonna be some pussy there, man."
Dante: "With you? I don't think so."
Jay: "Oh, look at you. 'I don't hang out with drug dealers.'"
Dante: "Nothing personal."


thatoldguy.wav(173K) thatoldguy.mp3(173K) thatoldguy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jay: "Yo, what happened with that old guy?"
Dante: "He died in the bathroom."
Jay: "Yo, I heard he was jerkin' off or something."
Dante: "I don't know. I wasn't watching."
Jay: "Yeah, he probably saw that Catlin chick. I know I felt like beatin' it when I saw her. Oh, come here, bitch. You like this? Huh? Huh? This what you want? Huh?"
Dante: "Hey, knock it off. That used to be my girlfriend. Alright?"


girlfriend.wav(348K) girlfriend.mp3(348K) girlfriend.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jay: "Oh, you used to go out with her?"
Dante: "Yeah, well, I thought we might be starting again."
Jay: "Don't you already have a girlfriend?"
Dante: "Yeah, Veronica."
Jay: "And what, you're gonna dump her for that Caitlin chick?"
Dante: "Maybe."
Jay: "I don't know, dude. That Caitlin chick's nice, but I see that Veronica girl doin' bleep for you all the time. I saw her rubbin' your back, bleepin' comes and bring you food. Didn't I see her change your tire once?"
Dante: "Hey, I jacked up the car. All she did was unloosen the nuts and put the tire on."
Jay: "Well, I know she does a lot for you."
Dante: "She's my girlfriend."
Jay: "I had some girlfriends too, but all they wanted from me was weed and bleep."


mygardma.wav(160K) mygardma.mp3(160K) mygardma.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jay: "Shit, my grandma used to say, 'What's better? bleepin' a good plate with nothin' on it?' No wait, I bleeped up. 'What's a good plate with nothin' on it?'"
Dante: "Meaning?"
Jay: "I don't know. She was senile and bleep. She used to bleepin' piss herself all the time. And bleep herself."


getoutofthis.wav(83K) getoutofthis.mp3(83K) getoutofthis.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jay: "Come on, Silent Bob, let's get the bleep outta this bleepin' gyp joint with this fucikin' faggot Dante. You cock smoker."


cheatonyou.wav(138K) cheatonyou.mp3(138K) cheatonyou.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Silent Bob (Kevin Smith): "You know, there's a million fine-lookin' women in the world, dude, but they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on ya."
Jay: "Come on, Limp Dick."
Silent Bob: "Yeah, yeah, yeah."


heretoday4.wav(65K) heretoday4.mp3(65K) heretoday4.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dante: "Do you know what the real tragedy about all this is? I'm not even supposed to be here today!"


BLEEPyoupal.wav(32K) BLEEPyoupal.mp3(32K) BLEEPyoupal.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Randal: "Oh, bleep you! bleep you, pal!"


blameyourself.wav(25K) blameyourself.mp3(25K) blameyourself.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Randal: "You wanna blame somebody? Blame yourself."


likeanBLEEPhole.wav(562K) likeanBLEEPhole.mp3(562K) likeanBLEEPhole.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Randal: "'I'm note even supposed to be here today.' You sound like an bleephole! Jesus, nobody twisted your arm to be here. You're here of your own volition. You like to think the weight of the world rests on your shoulder, like this would fall apart if Dante wasn't here. Jesus, you overcompensate for having what's basically a monkey's job. You push bleepin' buttons. Anybody could waltz in here and do our jobs. You-- You're so obsessed with making it seem so much more epic, so much more important than it really is. Christ, you work in a convenience store, Dant, and badly, I might add! I work in a bleepty video store, badly as well. You know, that guy Jay's got it right, man. He has no delusions about what he does. Us, we like to make ourselves seem so much more important than the people that come in here to buy a paper or, god forbid, cigarettes. We look down on them as if we're so advanced. Well, if we're so fucikn' advanced, what are we doin' workin' here?"

 
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