Movie Quotes - Movie Sounds - Movie Wavs



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All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).

fsb_exam.wav(421K) fsb_exam.mp3(421K) fsb_exam.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Associate (Jeff Harding): "Aren't you taking this test tomorrow?"
Emmett Fitz-Hume (Chevy Chase): "What the Foreign Service Board? Yah sure."
Associate: "Well don't you have to study"
Fitz-Hume: "No! Are you kidding. I know the FSB exam glass backwards. I've taken it three times already. Let me see the booklet. Look at these samples... All multiple choice, it's easy... Here, If discovered appropriating classified documents at a foreign consolate reception you should A)Express consern B)Act surprised C)Deny everything and D)All three. The answer is D)All three. It's common sence stuff."

clear.wav(163K) clear.mp3(163K) clear.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Fitz-Hume: "Are there any Paraguayans here? No... Well, of course, their request for subsities wasn't as paraguayanism as it were. The United States Government would never have if the president, Our President had not... and as far as I know that's the way it will always be. Is that Clear?"

broke_it.wav(253K) broke_it.mp3(253K) broke_it.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Captain Hefing (Stephen Hoye): "That was static filled tripple scrambled transmission between two soldiers speaking mandarine Chinese."
Austin Millbarge (Dan Aykroid): "Well, the chinese were only using a simple polyfinetically grouped 20 square digit key transposed in boostermenotic form with multiple nulls... I broke it with this."
Captain Hefing: "A drogens decoder ring, they put these things in cerial boxes for kids."
Millbarge: "Yah, I found it in a box of Lucky Charms."

hook_up.wav(67K) hook_up.mp3(67K) hook_up.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Millbarge: "I was going to do your family a favor and hook up the disney channel for free. Well forget it."

broke_arm.wav(114K) broke_arm.mp3(114K) broke_arm.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Fitz-Hume: "I'm Sorry I'm late, I had to attend a the reading of a will. I had to stay till the very end and I found out I received nothing... Broke my arm."

1000.wav(157K) 1000.mp3(157K) 1000.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Fitz-Hume: "Oh, uh hold my wallet while I take the test please... There's $1000 in there... or mayby there isn't... You know what I mean."
Test Manager (Frank Oz): "Are you saying I can take this money if I help you pass the test?"
Fitz-Hume: "What do you think?"

pressure.wav(251K) pressure.mp3(251K) pressure.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Fitz-Hume: "Oh god the pressure! I can't take it. I can't take it. I can't, I can't do it. (acting like he is crying) I can't... What page..."

heart.wav(250K) heart.mp3(250K) heart.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Fitz-Hume: "Ahhh! My heart... heart attack... heart attack... Can I borrow your pen?"
Milbarge: "Alright everybody please stand back. I am a trained cadiovascular respiratory emergency assist technition. I want all of you to stand back... This man needs air, in fact all of you should leave the room..."

jump.wav(219K) jump.mp3(219K) jump.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Fitz-Hume: "We're just hitching a ride with these guys, they won't make us jump."
Milbarge: "Jump? no chance, we won't have to jump."
Fitz-Hume: "Nah. (Buzzer sounds)"
Jumpmaster (Christopher Malcolm): "Alright skytroopers, let's go! let's go!"
Fitz-Hume: "Go? What does he mean go? (Jumpmaster grabs him and throws him out of the plane) Ah! Hey come on... come on... You can't do this... Hey, what are you doing... Ahhhhhhhhh!"

dickfur.wav(66K) dickfur.mp3(66K) dickfur.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Fitz-Hume: "Did you hear that?"
Milbarge: "Yah, It's a dickfur."
Fitz-Hume: "What's a dickfur?"
Milbarge: "To pee with."

playdead.wav(33K) playdead.mp3(33K) playdead.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Milbarge: "We need a plan."
Fitz-Hume: "Let's play dead."

diplomat.wav(229K) diplomat.mp3(229K) diplomat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Fitz-Hume: "Come on super spy think of something."
Milbarge: "You're the diplomat, talk to them."
Fitz-Hume: "Alright... Stop right there, and I'll bring back the sun. OK, this is my sister... You can all have her... I hear she's very good."

balls.wav(40K) balls.mp3(40K) balls.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Milbarge: "For god's sake show some balls"
Fitz-Hume: "I think it's too late to try to impress them."

not_fair.wav(61K) not_fair.mp3(61K) not_fair.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Fitz-Hume: "What's it say?"
Milbarge: "Pussy!"
Fitz-Hume: "I don't think thats very fair. All these guys had swords. What are we supposed to do?"

coffee.wav(30K) coffee.mp3(30K) coffee.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Fitz-Hume: "You want some coffee?"
Milbarge: "That's a good Idea."
Fitz-Hume: "Yah."

stool.wav(240K) stool.mp3(240K) stool.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Fitz-Hume: "Ah, Colonel we were just talking and uh we've had loads of fun here... and uh you know we met new friends... and had a great lunch... wasn't that a great lunch?"
Milbarge: "Yah, the tuna and cream caserole was beautiful."
Fitz-Hume: "...Was great! And uh, anyway we were just talking and we'd like to go home now. So uh thanks for the bruses and you can keep the stool samples..."
Colonel Rhombus (Bernie Casey): "Boys, it'd be a shame to have to kill you now."

contact.wav(401K) contact.mp3(401K) contact.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Milbarge: "Is one of these people our contact?"
Fitz-Hume: "OK, who led the american league in homeruns in 1953?"
: "(Sound of rifles being aimed at them)"
Fitz-Hume: "(He is startled) I'll handle this... (speaking in pakistani: If you let me go free, you may keep my friends head for polo)"
: "(Everone in the crowd laughs and one man starts feeling Dan Aykroids head)"
Milbarge: "What is he doing."
Fitz-Hume: "That's just their way of sayin hello."

wiz.wav(324K) wiz.mp3(324K) wiz.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Milbarge: "You should go to."
Fitz-Hume: "What are you, my mother? Don't you think I am capable of determining my own time to go to the bathroom?"
Milbarge: "So, isn't now one of those times?"
Fitz-Hume: "No"
Milbarge: "You mean, you don't feel a certain degree of urgent pressure on the inner wall of your badder now right at this moment"
Fitz-Hume: "No, I'm fine."
Milbarge: "Well wouldn't you feel more comfortable being fully relieved yourself of any excess fluids that might be building up Immediatly NOW! "
Fitz-Hume: "I gotta take a wiz?"
: "(Milbarge nods yes)"

sleep.wav(211K) sleep.mp3(211K) sleep.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Milbarge: "We'll do the driving in shifts... One guy will drive, the other will sleep."
Fitz-Hume: "OK, I'll drive, you sleep."
Milbarge: "Wake me up when you get tired."
Fitz-Hume: "OK."
Milbarge: "Good night."
Fitz-Hume: "Good night."
Milbarge: "Good night."
Fitz-Hume: "Good night, sleep tight."
Milbarge: "Thanks."
Fitz-Hume: "Don't let the bed bugs bite."
Milbarge: "OK!"

doctor.wav(444K) doctor.mp3(444K) doctor.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jerry(Dr) Hadley (Charles McKeown): "Here we are: I'm Hadley, internal medicine; and Dr La Fong, communicable diseases; Dr Boyer, procteriology; and Drs Stinson, Marston, and Gill of the North Hampton Trauma Isntitute; and Dr Imhouse of the zurick relief effort. These are are newly arrived surgeons Drs Trobrich and Greenbaum."
Dr Imhous (Terry Gilliam): "Doctor"
Milbarge: "Doctor"
Dr Imhous: "Doctor"
Fitz-Hume: "Doctor"
Karen(Dr) Boyer (Donna Dixon): "Doctor"
Milbarge: "Doctor"
Karen(Dr) Boyer: "Doctor"
Fitz-Hume: "Doctor"
Dr Gill (Robert Paynter): "Doctor"
Milbarge: "Doctor"
Dr Gill: "Doctor"
Fitz-Hume: "Doctor"
Dr Stinson (Derek Meddings): "Doctor"
Milbarge: "Doctor"
Dr Stinson: "Doctor"
Fitz-Hume: "Doctor"
Dr La Fong (Gusti Bogok): "Doctor"
Milbarge: "Doctor"
Dr La Fong: "Doctor"
Fitz-Hume: "Doctor"
Dr Marston (Ray Harryhausen): "Doctor"
Milbarge: "Doctor"
Dr Marston: "Doctor"
Fitz-Hume: "And Doctor"
Milbarge: "Well did we miss anyone."

bob_hope.wav(100K) bob_hope.mp3(100K) bob_hope.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Bob Hope: "Ah! Mind if I play through. (Hits his golf ball) Doctor.. Doctor.. I'm glad I'm not sick."

you_do_it.wav(289K) you_do_it.mp3(289K) you_do_it.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dr Imhous: "Doctor, Isn't that incision a bit high for an appendix?"
Milbarge: "Do you want to do the operation? FINE, you come on up here and you do it! "
Hadley: "Imhous!"
Dr Imhous: "He was cutting into his chest!"
Milbarge: "Did you see me cutting into his chest? Did I cut his chest? I was proabing for muscle tone and skeletal gerth. It's a new technique. We mock what we don't understand."
Fitz-Hume: "Yah!, go ahead will ya. I'm getting hungry."

dead.wav(115K) dead.mp3(115K) dead.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Fitz-Hume: "Cut the sucker!"
Pakistani Patient: "(Sits up, gasps for air, falls, and dies.)"
Dr Imhous: "This man is dead."

collect.wav(278K) collect.mp3(278K) collect.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

W.A.M.P. Technician: "General Slime sir."
General Slime (Steve Forrest): "Yes sergeant?"
W.A.M.P. Technician: "It's a collect call from Pakistan for Mr Ruby. A Mr Fitz-Hume."
Mr Ruby: "(Spits up his coffee) What?"
Milbarge: "Ah folks sorry uh we'll just be another minute. Thank you for your patience."
W.A.M.P. Technician: "It's person to person sir collect. They said their contacts tried to kill them and they don't know what they should do."
Mr Keyes: "And they told you this over a public phone."
W.A.M.P. Technician: "No sir, the AT&T operator told our operator."

dick.wav(109K) dick.mp3(109K) dick.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Fitz-Hume: "No, I think it's our duty as american operatives to follow her and find out what she is up to."
Milbarge: "You just want to follow her."
Fitz-Hume: "No."
Milbarge: "You're thinking with your dick."

dick2.wav(35K) dick2.mp3(35K) dick2.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Fitz-Hume: "Maybe your dick's not so dumb"
Milbarge: "It got me through highschool."

interrogate.wav(597K) interrogate.mp3(597K) interrogate.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Russian Border Guard: "What is your objective?"
Fitz-Hume: "My objective? Well, I object to taking a girl out you know and buying her dinner and she won't put out for ya."
Russian Border Guard: "(Other Gaurd Slaps Fitz-Hume) Why are you here?"
Fitz-Hume: "Why am I here? Why are you here? Why is anybody here? I think it was John Paul Sarka who once said... How do you spell Sarka? (Other guard Slaps Fitz-Hume again) Ouch! And let that be a lesson to you!"
Russian Border Guard: "Every minute you don't tell us why you are here, I cut off a finger."
Fitz-Hume: "Mine or yours."
Russian Border Guard: "Yours"
Fitz-Hume: "Damn! (Other Gaurd Slaps Fitz-Hume again) Ow! Why are you still hitting me? He's gonna cut my fingers off."
Russian Border Guard: "You have 30 seconds."
Fitz-Hume: "You're not gonna start humming the theme to Jeparody are you?"
Russian Border Guard: "We start with the little one."
Fitz-Hume: "Alright, alright, I'm an american agent."
Russian Border Guard: "And?"
Fitz-Hume: "And uh... and uh... and uh... they... they sent me here to... to... assacinate your primere"
Russian Border Guard: "I knew it, pay up comrad."

grenade.wav(25K) grenade.mp3(25K) grenade.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Fitz-Hume: "What's this?"
Milbarge: "You don't want it!"

soulfing.wav(72K) soulfing.mp3(72K) soulfing.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Milbarge: "It's "Soul Finger" by the Barkays."
Fitz-Hume: "They must be having trouble getting gigs."

marry_me.wav(230K) marry_me.mp3(230K) marry_me.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Karen Boyer: "We are here today to gaurantee the personal freedom of every american. And we should never forget the words of President John F Kenedy who said "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country""
Fitz-Hume: "Will you marry me?"

orange.wav(50K) orange.mp3(50K) orange.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Milbarge: "Do you know what those things can do? Suck the paint off your house and give your family a permanent orange afro!"

tent.wav(35K) tent.mp3(35K) tent.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Fitz-Hume: "Wait a minute what's going on here? (Gasping in surprise) You have a tent"

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