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Joey Episode 103 Joey And The Party price at: amazon


thecurveball.wav(252K) thecurveball.mp3(252K) thecurveball.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael Tribbiani (Paulo Costanzo): "And Strike three!"
Joey Tribbiani (Matt LeBlanc): "It's so unrealistic. Derek Jeter doesn't strike out on three curveballs in a row."
Michael: "Do you know that the laws of physics suggest that the curveball is actually impossible 'cause of the..."
Joey: "Why do you have to ruin stuff like that? Huh? 'The curveball is impossible. Don't eat that, it's solid mold. That's not a dog, it's a possum, stop letting it lick your face.' Why?"


supercomputer.wav(251K) supercomputer.mp3(251K) supercomputer.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "I gotta get to school."
Joey: "Dude, let me let you in on a little secret. You don't live with your mom anymore. You don't have to go to school. Stay here, we'll have fun."
Michael: "Man, I really have to finish some work."
Joey: "Well, so, you can work here. There's a comfy couch, a lamp, pens. What else do you need?"
Michael: "A Cray T3E-1200 supercomputer."
Joey: "The lamp has three settings."


snowday.wav(159K) snowday.mp3(159K) snowday.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "You have to go to school every day?"
Michael: "Isn't the teacher ever sick or you get, like, a snow day or something?"
Joey: "There're not too many snow days in LA. Although, it's funny you mention that, 'cause I'm studying a climate change scenario, right now, where the polar ice caps melt and..."
Michael: "Oh, just go!"


tobeclimbed.wav(43K) tobeclimbed.mp3(43K) tobeclimbed.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina Tribbiani (Drea de Matteo): "Did you break another piece off the wall?"
Joey: "It's just begging to be climbed."


makefriends.wav(292K) makefriends.mp3(292K) makefriends.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "I'm kinda lonely. How you supposed to make friends as an adult?"
Gina: "You met anybody nice in the building?"
Joey: "Well, there actually is this one guy, Jake. He lives across the courtyard. He seems really cool."
Gina: "Well have you talked to him?"
Joey: "Kinda, yeah. I've run into him a couple of times by the mailboxes. He's always going out to play basketball with his friends. Man, if I knew him, I could play ball with them too assuming they also suck."
Gina: "So, why don't you be friends with him?"
Joey: "Yeah, why don't I just catch a rainbow and put it in my pocket."




pickingupagirl.wav(132K) pickingupagirl.mp3(132K) pickingupagirl.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "Oh, come on. It should be easy for you. It's like picking up a girl. How do you do that?"
Joey: "I don't know. I kinda go into a zone, you know, I just start talking to a girl and the next think you know I'm sneaking out of her apartment."


calljakerightnow.wav(279K) calljakerightnow.mp3(279K) calljakerightnow.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "I could call Jake right now. I know from the mailboxes that his last name is Morgan. Huh? More than just a hat rack, Gina. Okay, Morgan, Morgan. Shoot, there's like ten J. Morgans. If only I knew his address. Hah! Here's a guy with the same address as me... Right, got it, I'm on it. I'm on it."


j-bird.wav(260K) j-bird.mp3(260K) j-bird.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Jake, Jake, Jake! Hey, what's up, man?"
Jake (Geoff Stults): "Joey, right?"
Joey: "Well, my friends call me J-Bird. Uh, anyway, uh, my roommate and I are having a little party Thursday for everyone in the building."
Jake: "Oh, yeah, sure. I'll stop by."
Joey: "Awesome, yeah, you won't be sorry. The J-Bird throws a great party. Why do I keep calling myself that? Hold it together, J-Bird!"


allergictolight.wav(204K) allergictolight.mp3(204K) allergictolight.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "Oh, god, it means I'm the last guy from my group of friends at school to have a serious relationship. The last."
Joey: "Even after the allergic to light guy?"
Michael: "Arthur Trang does alright. I mean, if you tell a girl 'We have to sit here in the dark or I'll die.', stuff happens."
Joey: "That is going right in the arsenal!"


johnnydepp.wav(73K) johnnydepp.mp3(73K) johnnydepp.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "You know what it's like having someone that's like you but just a little bit better?"
Joey: "Yeah. Johnny Depp."


jakeiscoming.wav(100K) jakeiscoming.mp3(100K) jakeiscoming.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "I don't even wanna go tonight."
Joey: "What? This is our party. The whole reason to have it was to do something together."
Michael: "I thought this party was for Jake."
Joey: "Huh, that's right. Jake is coming!"


needagirlfriend.wav(145K) needagirlfriend.mp3(145K) needagirlfriend.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "You know what? You need a girlfriend tonight, I don't know this Seth guy, I'll be your girlfriend."
Michael: "Okay, mom, No!"
Gina: "We could be a couple. Aren't we a cute couple?"
Alexis 'Alex' Garrett (Andrea Anders): "People go to jail for things like that."
Joey: "Yeah."


appropriate.wav(309K) appropriate.mp3(309K) appropriate.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "Aren't we a cute couple?"
Alexis 'Alex' Garrett (Andrea Anders): "People go to jail for things like that."
Joey: "Yeah."
Michael: "Seriously, mom, stop."
Gina: "You don't think I'm sexy enough? I mean, come on, this is the body of a 22 year old. I mean, look how tight my..."
Alex: "Please stop!"
Gina: "What'd you say?"
Alex: "Well, first of all, oh, so tight. And, uh, I could do it."
Michael: "You'd really do that for me?"
Alex: "Yeah, I could be your girlfriend. I mean, after all, my husband's out of town, I could use a date."
Gina: "Alex, you're a married woman. Is that really appropriate?"
Joey: "You know the word appropriate?!"


whatyoudontsee.wav(117K) whatyoudontsee.mp3(117K) whatyoudontsee.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Alex: "You're fake girlfriend's here."
Michael: "Oh, uh, is that what you're wearing? I-- I just thought that you were gonna show a little more skin."
Alex: "Well, sometimes what you don't see is sexier."
Joey: "Hah, only women think that."


backstory.wav(314K) backstory.mp3(314K) backstory.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "Maybe we should get our stories straight. I mean, if we blow this, Seth, he'll never let me hear the end of it."
Alex: "Okay, um, my middle name is Julia, I grew up in..."
Michael: "Well, actually, well, I-- I had some thoughts about your backstory."
Alex: "My backstory? Veronica Rockafeller, Neurosurgen slash bikini model. I'm sorry, am I not good enough for you?"
Michael: "No! No, I..."
Alex: "For believability, please lower your age to 30?"
Michael: "Right."
Alex: "I'm 28!"


firstpeople.wav(78K) firstpeople.mp3(78K) firstpeople.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Hey guys, cuold you, uh, not stand by the door? When Jake comes in, I don't want you two to be the first people he sees, come on."


twomonthsmore.wav(87K) twomonthsmore.mp3(87K) twomonthsmore.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Alex: "I guess we've been together three months now."
Seth (Simon Helberg): "We've been together five. That's two months more, 61 days."
Michael: "1464 hours."
Michael and Seth: "87,840 minutes!"


aboutourpresident.wav(164K) aboutourpresident.mp3(164K) aboutourpresident.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Jake better show. I mean, look at these people. Who else could I possibly be friends with here? Crazy pet lady? No, sir. I do not like the way her bird talks about our president."


tablesforone.wav(300K) tablesforone.mp3(300K) tablesforone.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Howard (Ben Falcone): "Hey, I'm Howard, from apartment 12."
Joey: "Oh, hi. Joey, this is Gina."
Howard: "Hey, great, nice to meet you. I'm actually new here in LA and I find it kinda hard to meet people. Lots of tables for one for old Howie lately! So I was pretty excited to get your invitation. I mean, I'v seen you around the building and I wanted to meet you and here I am!"
Joey: "Okay! Well, uh, enjoy yourself."


shareapassion.wav(119K) shareapassion.mp3(119K) shareapassion.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "Oh, it's almost 9:00. There'll be a visible pass by the international space station soon. Molly and I share a passion for the night sky."
Alex: "Oh, how nice. Michael and I share a passion for sex in public."


jediorempire.wav(174K) jediorempire.mp3(174K) jediorempire.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Alex: "It doesn't seem like they know each other very well. Do you think she could be a fake girlfriend?"
Michael: "Let's find out. Uh, hey, Molly, hah, which one's better, Jedi or Empire?"
Molly (Jayma Mays): "I don't know."
Michael: "Uh. She's fake."


andyesidid.wav(62K) andyesidid.mp3(62K) andyesidid.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "You didn't tell me he was so cute."
Joey: "I'm sorry, but that's not something I notice with guys and yes I did."


ohsothanks.wav(268K) ohsothanks.mp3(268K) ohsothanks.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Look, I don't want you talkin' to him. I told you how hard it is for me to meet people."
Gina: "Well, it's not easy for me either. Mhy can't we share him?"
Joey: "Because, that never works. Everytime you get involved with one of my friends you ruin it. Okay? Either you break up with him and he doesn't want to be with me anymore or he breaks up with you and you scare him away. That's why I had to quit the football team, the baseball team. I ended up having to do theater. Oh, so thanks."


mrtinarestaurant.wav(121K) mrtinarestaurant.mp3(121K) mrtinarestaurant.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "(Getting nervous 'cause Gina is on her way over) Uh, uh, I'm an actor myself. I'm not really working right now, so that's not interesting. Uh, uh, I love video games and Die Hard. Uh, I'm an excellent parallel parker. I once saw Mr. T in a restaurant."


idontremember.wav(598K) idontremember.mp3(598K) idontremember.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Alex: "So tell me, uh, how exactly did you and Seth meet?"
Molly: "Oh, (clears her throat) at a Memorial Day party thrown by a mutual friend, it was a sunset cruise around Catalina Island."
Alex: "That's so romantic."
Molly: "And I had to go to San Francisco on business that night, so Seth offered to drive me to the airport. Then when I came back, he surprised me by picking me up too."
Alex: "Ahh. Couple of questions, um, you say you went on a sunset cruise on Memorial Day?"
Molly: "Um, yeah."
Alex: "And then you flew to San Francisco later that night?"
Molly: "On business."
Alex: "So just a few weeks before the Summer solstice when the sun sets well after 8:00, your sunset cuise got back in time for you to catch a flight to San Francisco, when, and correct me if I'm wrong, the last shuttle to SFO leaves at 9 PM. Is that what you're saying?"
Molly: "I... don't remember."


yourbodyweight.wav(140K) yourbodyweight.mp3(140K) yourbodyweight.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "I don't know if you noticed, but I've been working out."
Michael: "Oh yeah, I've been-- I've been worikng out too."
Seth: "Oh yeah? I'm bench pressing 90 pounds. Can you bench press your body weight?"


theanswers.wav(192K) theanswers.mp3(192K) theanswers.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "What do you think Molly and Alex are talking about?"
Michael: "Oh, uh, girl stuff."
Alex: "Then either it didn't happen that way or both you and Seth are in violation of the US Fusheries Act of 1988!"
Molly: "I have to go to the bathroom."
Alex: "The answers aren't in there, Miss Wentle!"


thej-bird.wav(124K) thej-bird.mp3(124K) thej-bird.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jake: "Thanks for the great party. I gotta take off."
Joey: "No, really?"
Jake: "Yeah, I got a basketball game in th morning. Say, I was wondering if the J-Bird wants to come?"
Joey: "Who? Oh that's me. Yeah."


thatsmysister.wav(236K) thatsmysister.mp3(236K) thatsmysister.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "So, you're not gonna call her?"
Jake: "Nah, she's fine for a slow night, but not exactly woth dinner and a movie, right?"
Joey: "That's my sister, Jake!"
Jake: "Oh, man, uh, I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. We still on for basketball?"
Joey: "No. I think I'm gonna play basketball with some guys who don't think my sister's trashy."
Jake: "Oh, well good luck finding them."
Joey: "Yeah, tell me about it."


onenightstand.wav(225K) onenightstand.mp3(225K) onenightstand.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Hey, uh, I-- I think I came on a little too strong with Jake. I might have freaked him out. He's probably not gonna call."
Gina: "I saw him throw my number out, Joey, but I like your story better. He just wanted a one-night stand, huh? A one-night stand..."
Joey: "Don't even think about it!"


justwannagohome.wav(70K) justwannagohome.mp3(70K) justwannagohome.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Alex: "Molly has something she'd like to say."
Molly: "I don't wanna do this anymore. I just wanna go home."


youbuilther.wav(130K) youbuilther.mp3(130K) youbuilther.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "Look, okay. I have to tell you something. Alex isn't real."
Seth: "You built her?"
Alex: "Get away from me."


learnedourlesson.wav(253K) learnedourlesson.mp3(253K) learnedourlesson.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "Okay, yes, I-- I asked her to pretend to be my date tonight to impress you because I-- I feel like I never win."
Seth: "Wow. Makes you think."
Michael: "Yeah. So, I-- I guess we both kind learned our lesson."
Seth: "I learned it first."
Michael: "Well, I learned it better."
Seth: "I kinda already knew it, actually, so..."
Michael: "Yeah, but I'm the one that started..."
Joey: "Geeks, geeks, geeks, we're done."


wecantryit.wav(256K) wecantryit.mp3(256K) wecantryit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "So, he was the real reason I threw this party and he turns out be a jerk. You know? All I wanted was someone to hang out with (Howard stares at him intently) Okay we can try it but I am not making any promises."
Howard: "You will not regret this."


controlmyself.wav(124K) controlmyself.mp3(124K) controlmyself.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Hey, Gina, on a trial basis, Howard here is gonna be my friend. Okay, now, I don't want you hitting on him and ruining everything."
Gina: "I will try to control myself. I am only a woman."


mightworkout.wav(155K) mightworkout.mp3(155K) mightworkout.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Howard: "Hey, let's play a game where you throw the trash in a bag but you use my body as a backboard."
Joey: "This just might work out!"


imoneofthem.wav(82K) imoneofthem.mp3(82K) imoneofthem.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "Women, uh, they don't like me. Exceppt lesbians who, uh, well, when I'm wearing my old glasses, think I'm one of them."


giveherbigger.wav(82K) giveherbigger.mp3(82K) giveherbigger.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Alex: "Let me tell you something. If there was a 20 year old me out there, she would be lucky to have a guy like you."
Michael: "Thanks. If I could build an ultra-realistic girl robot, I'd-- I'd want her to be just like you."
Alex: "Well, that's sweet."
Michael: "But I'd probably give her bigger..."
Alex: "That's enough!"
Michael: "Okay."

 
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