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Joey Episode 104 Joey And The Book Club price at: amazon


onafreeway.wav(252K) onafreeway.mp3(252K) onafreeway.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey Tribbiani (Matt LeBlanc): "In New York, if you see a pretty girl, you can just walk right up to her. You know? But here, they're all in cars. They go whipping past me at like a million miles an hour. You know, like today, I saw this pretty girl toward me, so I make a u-turn and get a ticket for $800."
Michael Tribbiani (Paulo Costanzo): ""
Joey: "$800 for a u-turn?"
Michael: "Yeah. We may have been on a freeway at the time, but..."


iframonecalls.wav(170K) iframonecalls.mp3(170K) iframonecalls.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "I just wish I had a regular place I could go and meet women."
Michael: "Well, you could go to bars."
Joey: "Nah, I'm getting too old for that. Plus I'm not great at telling whether or not they're gay bars before I go in. Oh, by the way, if Ramone calls, I am not here."


sandwiches.wav(195K) sandwiches.mp3(195K) sandwiches.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Hello, giant plate of sandwiches."
Michael: "Okay... Joey, listen..."
Joey: "Oh, hey, Michael. Didn't even see you there."
Michael: "Hands off, these are for my book club tonight."
Joey: "Bookclub, here, in my own home? God, it's like I'm living at the Playboy mansion."


lesstalent.wav(108K) lesstalent.mp3(108K) lesstalent.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina Tribbiani (Drea de Matteo): "It's so upsetting when-- when people with less talent than you are more succesful."
Joey: "Yeah, like that dog from my beer commercial, couldn't catch a frisbee on cue, works all the time!"


what.wav(63K) what.mp3(63K) what.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Bobbie Morganstern (Jennifer Coolidge): "What's that?"
Joey: "Oh, it's a portfolio of hairstyles."
Bobbie: "What?"




whosthemodel.wav(208K) whosthemodel.mp3(208K) whosthemodel.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Bobbie: "Oh, who's the model? Oh, I'd like to keep that little piece of chicken in my pocket and snack on him all day."
Joey: "Uh, that's my nephew."
Bobbie: "Well, we can see who has the looks in your family."


whatdshesay.wav(322K) whatdshesay.mp3(322K) whatdshesay.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "My sister is a hairdresser and that's her portfolio. I was hoping maybe you could show it to some of your clients?"
Bobbie: "Oh, absolutely. (She taps on the phone jokingly dialing) Hi, Hale Berry, my client has a sister that's a barber. Could she do your hair for the Oscars?"
Joey: "What'd she say?"


kissyourass.wav(209K) kissyourass.mp3(209K) kissyourass.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Bobbie: "Let me explain how this agent thing works: First you become famous, and then I'll kiss your ass. But until then, let's keep it strictly professional."
Joey: "Okay, sorry, I understand."
Bobbie: "No, leave the pictueres of the boy-toy."


extremelyfictional.wav(141K) extremelyfictional.mp3(141K) extremelyfictional.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Maureen (Susan Dalian): "Well, hello. Are you here for book club?"
Joey: "I am now."
Diane (Charlene Amoia): "What did you think of this week's book?"
Joey: "I found it extremely fictional."


inthenerdclub.wav(151K) inthenerdclub.mp3(151K) inthenerdclub.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "What are you doing?"
Joey: "You didn't tell me there were pretty ladies in the nerd club. You gotta let me in."
Michael: "Look, I don't know."
Joey: "Hey, come on, Michael. You can't keep me out of a room full of women. If I was in charge of a room full of boring stuff, I'd let you in."


janesherejane.wav(96K) janesherejane.mp3(96K) janesherejane.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "Look, this isn't one of those book clubs where people come to mingle, alright. It's-- It's a place to discuss literature, not pick up girls. Thi-- Oy my god, Jane's here, Jane."


greatgreatgreat.wav(357K) greatgreatgreat.mp3(357K) greatgreatgreat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jane (Reagan Dale Neis): "Hi, Michael, I brought an ice cream cake."
Michael: "That's great. That's great. It's great to see you. Uh, great book, huh? So great I tho-- It was a little slow at the begining, but great overall. I mean, did you think it was great?"
Joey: "The cake is cold. My hands are getting numb."
Michael: "Oh."
Joey: "Not a place to pick up girls, huh?"
Michael: "Wh-- Jane, no way no. Are you kidding? No, I would never..."
Joey: "Great, great, gr- great, great, g-g great,great,great, great, ge-ge-ge-ge- great, great."
Michael: "Alright! I love her so much."


thescandal.wav(169K) thescandal.mp3(169K) thescandal.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "So, so, ask her out."
Michael: "No, book club has a strict no-dating rule, and I'm the president. She's my vice-president, the scandal would tear our administration apart!"
Joey: "Michael, you have to seize this moment. The love between two nerds is a rare and fragile thing"


makeamotion.wav(288K) makeamotion.mp3(288K) makeamotion.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "I can't go agianst the rules with out a motion being passed."
Joey: "So, I'll make a motion."
Michael: "No, you're not a member, there's an approval process."
Joey: "Well, I motion you suspend it, on account of me being the soul payer of rent for the book club's headquarters."
Michael: "I second the motion. The motion is passed."
Joey: "I motion for a presidential exemption to the no-dating rule."
Michael: "I second the motion. The motion is passed."
Joey: "I motion that you and me eat that entire ice cream cake right now."
Michael: "Motion denied!"
Joey: "Mr. Chairman, you're out of order!"


whatsyoursecret.wav(92K) whatsyoursecret.mp3(92K) whatsyoursecret.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "What's your secret?"
Joey: "Well, there's no trick. Women just want to be listened to. So when they talk, I pretend to listen and go like this. (He nods along)"


hopeyouenjoy.wav(175K) hopeyouenjoy.mp3(175K) hopeyouenjoy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "What's the book?"
Michael: "Jane Austin's Pride and Prejudice. It's a tale of manners and courtships set in 19th century rural England."
Joey: "I hope you enjoy reading that."
Michael: "Joey, if you're going to be in this book club, you have to read the book. The whole notion of... (Joey starts noddin along pretending to listen.) Stop that!"


chickennugget.wav(167K) chickennugget.mp3(167K) chickennugget.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Actually, Bobbie's been very busy so I don't know if you should be expect a call."
Michael: "Your agent? She did call."
Gina: "Really?"
Michael: "Yeah, it was wierd. She called me her little chicken nugget then made a bunch of slurping noises."
Joey: "That's just showbiz talk."


whatjusthappened.wav(336K) whatjusthappened.mp3(336K) whatjusthappened.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Alexis 'Alex' Garrett (Andrea Anders): "So, tell me, do you...?"
Gina: "Oh, this isn't a social hour. Tell me, what famous people do you know?"
Alex: "Oh, well, um, my college friend, Jessica is married to a big-time movie producer."
Gina: "So does she wear really expensive gowns and get her hair all done up and go to big premiers?"
Alex: "Yeah, all the time. She goes to one, like every week."
Gina: "Oh, you're lying to impress me."
Alex: "No, I'm not lying. She's a really good friend of mine."
Gina: "Yeah right. I'd like to see you ask her to let me do her hair for her next premier."
Alex: "Alright, I will. Wait, what just happened?"


exclusively.wav(89K) exclusively.mp3(89K) exclusively.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "Hello."
Joey: "Hey, listen, toright at book club, don't have Diane sit next to Maureen."
Michael: "Why?"
Joey: "I may be dating both of them exclusively."


drivenhere.wav(144K) drivenhere.mp3(144K) drivenhere.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "Hi. Whoa, uh, come in, I'm sorry. You just-- You look great."
Jane: "Thanks, you look... I don't know. I can't see without my glasses. I probably shouldn't have driven here."


makesmehungry.wav(60K) makesmehungry.mp3(60K) makesmehungry.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "So, I wanted to ask you..."
Joey: "Don't mind me, just grabbing a snack, Reading maken me hungry!"


justcallmeangel.wav(109K) justcallmeangel.mp3(109K) justcallmeangel.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "Um, so I was jus..."
Joey: "(Singing) Just call me angel of the morning, angel. Just touch my cheek before you leave..."


youtwosomeprivcy.wav(280K) youtwosomeprivcy.mp3(280K) youtwosomeprivcy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "Uh, maybe we could strike the no-dating rule from the bylaws?"
Jane: "Oh, yes, let's do that!"
Michael: "Okay, okay, consider it stricken."
Jane: "Okay, great. So we can date people in book club."
Michael: "Yes we can."
Jane: "So, what's up with your uncle?"
Michael: "I'm sorry?"
Jane: "Well, do you think he would go out with me? He mentioned he was single last time and I was hoping you could say something for me."
Joey: "I'm gonna go read in the courtyard, give you two some privacy."


fancylady.wav(83K) fancylady.mp3(83K) fancylady.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "Oh, I was a little nervous at first. She's a very fancy lady. She was drinking martinis and sitting with her legs crossed."


freakyfriday.wav(86K) freakyfriday.mp3(86K) freakyfriday.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "I'm gonna go tell Michael."
Joey: "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, he's in there with a girl."
Gina: "Okay, he's in there with a girl and you're reading books? What is this, freaky Friday?"


gottabuckledown.wav(62K) gottabuckledown.mp3(62K) gottabuckledown.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Five minutes left, I gotta buckle down. Hey, little snail!"


bigblobofsex.wav(271K) bigblobofsex.mp3(271K) bigblobofsex.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "What's the matter? Did you ask Jane out?"
Michael: "No, I didn't ask her out 'cause she wants to go out with you."
Joey: "Oh, dude, I'm so sorry. I-- Obviously, I would never..."
Michael: "You totally screwed this up for me."
Joey: "I didn't mean to. I barely said two words to her."
Michael: "You didn't have to. You came to last weeks meeting with your gameface on, looking to score, and it worked alright. You're like a big blob of sex and you ooze your charm all over the girl I like."
Joey: "I am not a sex blob!"


pastpagefour.wav(50K) pastpagefour.mp3(50K) pastpagefour.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "Come, Joey, let's go talk about the book we all read."
Joey: "Nothing past page four!"


whichiswrong.wav(251K) whichiswrong.mp3(251K) whichiswrong.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "Who wants to start?"
Lloyd (Marshall Manesh): "I thought..."
Michael: "Joey, what'd you think of Pride and Prejudice? Let's hear it, what were some of the central themes?"
Joey: "Uh, w-- well, pride was one."
Maureen: "Mm, yeah."
Diane: "Yeah."
Joey: "And, of course, prejudice, which is wrong."
Maureen: "Oh, yeah."
Diane: "Ah"


shewasgood.wav(144K) shewasgood.mp3(144K) shewasgood.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "And what'd you think of Darcy?"
Joey: "She was good!"
Michael: "Darcy's a man!"
Maureen: "But not in the modern sense. Is that what you're saying, Joey?"
Joey: "Uh, yes it is-- Yes it is, Maureen. Thank you."


therewasamovie.wav(200K) therewasamovie.mp3(200K) therewasamovie.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "He didn't read the book! The only reason he's here is to pick up women. Now, in the interest og maintaining the integrity of book club, I motion that we kick Joey out. Who seconds? Come on, he didn't read the book."
Maureen: "Neither did I."
Lloyd: "I saw the movie."
Joey: "There was a movie?!"


readingisfun.wav(182K) readingisfun.mp3(182K) readingisfun.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "Did anyone here read the book?"
Maureen: "You put too much pressure on us, Michael. A book a week?"
Jane: "It's just really gotten very stressful."
Michael: "How is reading stessful? Reading is fun! IT'S FUN!"
Joey: "Okay, okay. Let's not turn this into a hostage situation."


wantmetoleave.wav(41K) wantmetoleave.mp3(41K) wantmetoleave.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "If you want me to leave, I will."
Jane Diane and Maureen: "No!"


georgeclooney.wav(124K) georgeclooney.mp3(124K) georgeclooney.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "Mm-mm, look at George Clooney, I would wear him down to a nub!"
Alex: "Yeah, I would... have bunches of sex with him."


seemsosoon.wav(231K) seemsosoon.mp3(231K) seemsosoon.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Alex: "I wish I were as strong and as confident as you. And if it were me I would be more than happy to have you do my hair."
Gina: "Really? You mean that?"
Alex: "Absolutely."
Gina: "So, can we do it right now?"
Alex: "NOw? Oh, now seems so soon."


pickupsometacos.wav(160K) pickupsometacos.mp3(160K) pickupsometacos.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Look, Michael, it's Joey, I know you're mad. But I hope you come home soon so we can talk about how you're feeling and work this out. And also if you get a chance to pickup some tacos or something on your way home, that'd be great."


yeahmetoo.wav(204K) yeahmetoo.mp3(204K) yeahmetoo.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Michael, you have so many gifts that I don't have. You're really smart. People respect your opinion about stuff. That's a great thing."
Michael: "Maybe. I'd still rather have your gifts."
Joey: "Yeah, me too."


thatslutty.wav(151K) thatslutty.mp3(151K) thatslutty.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "Whoa."
Joey: "Now, that's a neighbor!"
Gina: "Come on, get your camera, I wanna get some pictures."
Michael: "You look so different. I can't believe you own an outfit that slutty."
Gina: "Hey, that's mine. I wear that to church."


prettywoman.wav(184K) prettywoman.mp3(184K) prettywoman.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "You're very nice to be such a good sport."
Alex: "Can I tell you something? I love it. I feel like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman."
Joey: "Oh. You know she was a hooker, right?"
Alex: "Yes. I have to go look at myself in the mirror again."


boughtahorse.wav(93K) boughtahorse.mp3(93K) boughtahorse.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Bobbie: "Oh, Joey, I've got great news."
Joey: "Oh, did I get that commercial?"
Bobbie: "No, I bought a horse."


mmmhaveaseat.wav(106K) mmmhaveaseat.mp3(106K) mmmhaveaseat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "Joey! Come o-- I gotta get to school. Oh, hi, I'm Michael."
Bobbie: "Mmm. Have a seat."


fullfontalnudity.wav(385K) fullfontalnudity.mp3(385K) fullfontalnudity.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Bobbie: "Oh. Joey, I completely forgot, there's a residual check for you in the accounting department. Why don't you go grab it?"
Joey: "Alright! Okay, I'll be right back. I'll be right back."
Bobbie: "So, Michael, How do you feel about full frontal nudity?"
Michael: "I'm not an actor."
Bobbie: "Oh, yes. I know."

 
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