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Joey Episode 105 Joey And The Perfect Storm price at: amazon


justlikedad.wav(110K) justlikedad.mp3(110K) justlikedad.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina Tribbiani (Drea de Matteo): "I need a drink!"
Joey Tribbiani (Matt LeBlanc): "You sound just like dad."
Gina: "Dad didn't drink."
Joey: "I know, I know. But your voice is deep like a man."


shakespeare.wav(262K) shakespeare.mp3(262K) shakespeare.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "You wanna beer?"
Joey: "No, no, I have an audition in an hour with this great theater company and I have to memorize a monolog from Shakespeare's Richard III."
Gina: "Oh, how's that going?"
Joey: "Bad!"
Gina: "Why would you even wanna do Shakespeare?"
Joey: "Well, you know, this could be a great opportunity for me. You know, really turn things around, get people to take me as a serious actor. Plus I get to wear a crown."


understooddialogue.wav(424K) understooddialogue.mp3(424K) understooddialogue.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "You know, maybe it would help you to memorize it if you understood the dialogue."
Joey: "Uh, Yeah! But, it's like a whole other language."
Gina: "Well, let me help you. Let's start with the first line."
Joey: "Okay, uh, 'Now is the Winter of our discontent.'"
Gina: "Interesting."
Joey: "Uh, 'Made glorious Summer by this son of York'"
Gina: "Oh, okay, sure."
Joey: "'And all the clouds that lowered upon our house, in the deep bosom of the ocean burried.'"
Gina: "You wanna get a pizza?"
Joey: "Oh, god, yes!"


meansyousuck.wav(137K) meansyousuck.mp3(137K) meansyousuck.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Hey, Michael."
Michael Tribbiani (Paulo Costanzo): "Hey, oh, how'd the Shakespeare audition go?"
Joey: "I didn't get it. I'm gonna be the understudy."
Michael: "That's great."
Joey: "Uh, Michael, I don't know what that means in rocket science business, but in show business, it means you suck!"


seaworld.wav(268K) seaworld.mp3(268K) seaworld.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "You're looking at this the wrong way. If the lead actor get sick, you're in. This is an opportunity for you. You just need to be ready seize it when your moment comes."
Joey: "Yeah?"
Michael: "Absolutely. Remember what happened to Lou Gehrig? One day Wally Pip got sick. Lou filled in for him. He was so good, he replaced him permanently. The guy played like every single game for like thirteen years."
Joey: "Michael, I can't play this part that long. I'm supposed to go to Sea World in three weeks."




sirinfront.wav(127K) sirinfront.mp3(127K) sirinfront.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Yeah, I'll just wait for my chance, then I'll go out there and be the best Richard III there ever was."
Michael: "Well, actually, Sir Lawrence Olivier set a pretty high standard for that one."
Joey: "Hmm. Maybe I should put a sir in front of my name."


hereyougo.wav(129K) hereyougo.mp3(129K) hereyougo.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Well, well, hello."
The Cute Girl (Candace Smith): "Hi."
Joey: "Uh, let me help you with that. (He takes the box from her)"
The Cute Girl: "Thanks."
Joey: "And let me be the first to welcome you to the building."
The Cute Girl: "Oh, actually I'm moving out of my apartment here and in with my fiance."
Joey: "Ah. Here you go. (Gives her the box back)"


mostlywicker.wav(111K) mostlywicker.mp3(111K) mostlywicker.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "God, she hates being alone and now I'm not there anymore to do yardwork or-- or-- or move furniture around."
Joey: "Whoa, whoa, uh, you move furniture?"
Michael: "It's mostly wicker."


wierdos.wav(44K) wierdos.mp3(44K) wierdos.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "California, what a bunch of wierdos, huh?"


bowflex.wav(244K) bowflex.mp3(244K) bowflex.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Howard (Ben Falcone): "Hi, Gina."
Gina: "Hey, Howie."
Howard: "Hey, did you notice anything different about me?"
Gina: "Did you get shorter?"
Howard: "No, I've been working out! I have a Bowflex. Good things are happening to my body almost daily."
Gina: "Oh, I can make good things happen to your body almost daily too. (She blows him a kiss)"
Howard: "I wanna marry her."


iwantthat.wav(157K) iwantthat.mp3(157K) iwantthat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "We don't want Gina to know about the empty apartment right now. So maybe you don't mention it to her."
Howard: "Why can't she know?"
Michael: "Uh, because if she finds out she'll move into it and we really don't want her living here."
Howard: "She'd move in here?"
Joey: "Howard!"
Howard: "I want that."
Joey: "Howard, no!"
Howard: "I'm gonna tell her."
Joey: "Howard!"
Howard: "Gina!"


dieharder.wav(157K) dieharder.mp3(157K) dieharder.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "You wanna have another pizza night, just you and me?"
Howard: "That was the best night ever. We watched Die Hard and then you showed me your Days of our Lives cast photo and pointed out everyone you slept with."
Joey: "Uh-huh. Alright, well, we can do that again if you don't mention the empty apartment to Gina."
Howard: "Really?"
Joey: "Yeah, but this time we can Die Harder."
Howard: "Ahh! The same thing happens, but only this time they're on a plane!"
Joey: "Yey."


storedinmybrain.wav(252K) storedinmybrain.mp3(252K) storedinmybrain.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Michael, guess what? Great news. The guy who plays Richard III has been throwing up all day."
Michael: "Really?"
Joey: "Yeah, yeah, they think it might be serious. I'm gonna get to go on."
Michael: "I'm so happy for you. I told you. So how aro the lines coming?"
Joey: "Ah, yeah, words. The worst part of acting. I just-- I can't get that opening monologue. I think I have too much information stored in my brain."
Michael: "That's an interesting theory."


bitemeblondie.wav(364K) bitemeblondie.mp3(264K) bitemeblondie.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Alexis 'Alex' Garrett (Andrea Anders): "Hey, guys."
Joey: "Hey."
Michael: "Oh, hi, Alex"
Alex: "Hey, um, do you know what's been happening to the 'For Rent' signs I've been putting up?"
Joey: "Yeah, yeah, we've been taking 'em down and tearing 'em up."
Alex: "And why have you been doing that?"
Michael: "Because if my mom finds out that there's an apartment here, she'll wanna move in immediately."
Alex: "Oh, well that might be okay. We're getting along pretty well."
Joey: "Really? You think you'd want her as a tenant? Okay, let's-- let's do a little role play. Alright? I'll be Gina, and you come and ask me for the rent."
Alex: "Okay. Gina..."
Joey: "Bite me, Blondie!"
Alex: "That felt so real."


shescrazy.wav(169K) shescrazy.mp3(169K) shescrazy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Alex: "Okay, you know what? You're right. This can't happen. She's crazy!"
Joey: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, Alex. We can talk about her like that, but you can't. That's my sister."
Michael: "Yeah, that's my mother."
Alex: "Oh, my god, I'm so sorry."
Joey: "Ah, we're just messin' with ya!"
Alex: "Okay"
Michael: "Yeah, she's crazy!"


20days2seaworld.wav(374K) 20days2seaworld.mp3(374K) 20days2seaworld.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "S look, we have to find someone else to live in that apartment. Is anyone else interested in it?"
Alex: "No, I was thinking of having an open house."
Michael: "Oh, oh, have one tomorrow. She has to go to San Diego for a wig convention."
Joey: "Ooh, San Diego, only 20 more days 'til Sea World!"
Alex: "Okay, this can totally work. I-I just have to rent it to someone by tomorrow. I just wish my husband was here. He's the real salesman in the family."
Joey: "Really?"
Alex: "Yeah, the last apartment we had open he rented no problem even though there was bad plumbing, faulty heating, and there's mold in the walls."
Joey: "Uh, weren't we the last people to move in?"
Alex: "So, Sea World huh?!"


christmascard.wav(71K) christmascard.mp3(71K) christmascard.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Hey, you gonna come see my play tonight, right?"
Gina: "Pass up the chance to see you in makeup and tights? That's gonna be my christmas card."


betterthanido.wav(123K) betterthanido.mp3(123K) betterthanido.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "So, you ready to go on?"
Joey: "Yeah, yeah, I got everything down except that damn opening monologue. Hey, what do you think about sitting in the front row and mouthing the words to me?"
Gina: "I don't know it."
Joey: "You know it better than I do."


differentplay.wav(142K) differentplay.mp3(142K) differentplay.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Uh-oh!"
Gina: "Paternity test results?"
Joey: "No, that was the theater calling. I'm going on tonight."
Gina: "You knew that."
Joey: "Different theater. Different play."


overunderstudied.wav(318K) overunderstudied.mp3(318K) overunderstudied.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "I liked understudying so much, I took another job. I-I over understudied!"
Gina: "Now, why would you do that?"
Joey: "Well, I figured if I understudied in more than one thing, it'd increase my odds of getting on stage."
Gina: "You know, you think just enough to really screw things up for yourself."
Joey: "I know, I know, I can't believe this. What are the chances of two people getting sick at the same time?!"
Gina: "Well, it's flu season."
Joey: "Get a flu shot!"
Gina: "You didn't get a flu shot."
Joey: "I'm not in a play!"


ishouldhearthis.wav(260K) ishouldhearthis.mp3(260K) ishouldhearthis.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "Hey, Joey, there was a wierd phone message for you. Your producer called, said you were going on tonight."
Gina: "Yeah, yeah, honey, he knows already. He's in two plays tonight."
Joey: "Actually I should hear this."
Michael: "Well, okay, the message was 'Trent's stuck in Florida, so they need you to play the part of Gus.'"
Gina: "You're in three plays."
Joey: "Ah! I was afraid it was Gus! Damnit, Trent! Unprofessional, unprofessional, unprofessional!"


thedancing.wav(208K) thedancing.mp3(208K) thedancing.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "So what's the third play about?"
Joey: "I don't remember!"
Micheal: "Joey, what are you gonna do?"
Joey: "I don't know. I can only do one."
Micheal: "Hey, don't do the one with the monologue in it because you don't know that very well."
Joey: "Yeah, but I haven't studied the dancing in that cowboy thing at all!"


perfectstorm.wav(83K) perfectstorm.mp3(83K) perfectstorm.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "I can't believe this! What are the chances? It's like everything is lining up to screw me! It's the understudy perfect storm!"


makesomethingup.wav(139K) makesomethingup.mp3(139K) makesomethingup.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Bobbie Morganstern (Jennifer Coolidge): "Joey, thank you for coming in! Listen, the reason that I called..."
Joey: "No, no, no, no, you didn't call me, I called you."
Bobbie: "Oh, good. I was just about to make something up."


ihateplays.wav(287K) ihateplays.mp3(287K) ihateplays.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Look, Bobbie, I got a real problem and I need your help. I took an understudy role in this play..."
Bobbie: "Oh no, I hate plays!"
Joey: "No, that's not the problem."
Bobbie: "Oh, it get's worse?"
Joey: "I signed up to understudy in three different plays and they all want me to go on tonight."
Bobbie: "What? Oh, why can't you just have a coke problem like everyone else?"
Joey: "I'll give that some thought."


ruinhiscareer.wav(257K) ruinhiscareer.mp3(257K) ruinhiscareer.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Bobbie: "All three plays are at the same time?"
Joey: "Uh, no, no, no. One starts a little earlier. Oh, and one I'm not in it 'til the second act."
Bobbie: "Great! So you can do both of those. And for the third, maybe we can get the actor to go on."
Joey: "How am I gonna do that?"
Bobbie: "Well, I'd offer to call and threaten to ruin his career, but... it couldn't get much worso, he's doing a play."


bigbrightguy.wav(101K) bigbrightguy.mp3(101K) bigbrightguy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Bobbie: "You'll think of something to say. You're a big bright guy."
Joey: "Yeah, yeah, I get that a lot."
Bobbie: "Really?"


takeoffmybra.wav(117K) takeoffmybra.mp3(117K) takeoffmybra.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Bobbie: "Well, enough of that Donde esta la playa crap. How do you say, 'Take off my bra'?"
Joey: "Quitame mi brassielle"


helecopters.wav(240K) helecopters.mp3(240K) helecopters.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Hey, Alex, how's the open house going?"
Alex: "Okay. We've had a few bites, but no one's really interested."
Joey: "Uh, did you mention there's a celebrity living in the complex."
Alex: "There is, who?"
Joey: "Uh, Sir Joey Tribbiani."
Alex: "Oh yeah, well, let's keep that quiet. We don't want the paparazzi crawling around here."
Joey: "Yeah, I hate those bastards always following me around in their helecopters."


notmysister.wav(192K) notmysister.mp3(192K) notmysister.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Well, you better rent it soon 'cause Gina's gonna be back from San Diego in a couple hours."
Alex: "Okay, well, I'm doing the best I can. It-It's not like I've got the greatest prospects here."
Joey: "Don't be so choosy. Alright, the important thing is to rent it to someone who's not my sister. Alright? And maybe someone who's hot, and has Hollywood connections and HDTV!"
Alex: "Get out of here."
Joey: "Alright."


flukillinme.wav(24K) flukillinme.mp3(24K) flukillinme.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Flu, you are killin' me!"


raisincajun.wav(347K) raisincajun.mp3(347K) raisincajun.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "I wanna talk. I have a problem."
Gina: "With what?"
Michael: "Well, it's a problem with..."
Joey: "A girl!"
Michael: "Yes, with-- with a girl."
Gina: "Really. What's her name."
Joey: "Raisin!"
Michael: "Yes, uh, her name is Raisin and she's a little bit..."
Joey: "Cajun!"
Michael: "She's a little bit Cajun."
Joey: "And her father's a dirty cop!"
Gina: "Okay, I'm glad you came to me about this. Here's what you're gonna do."
Michael: "Wait, you actually have some advice for me about my Cajun girlfriend Raisin."


woulditwork.wav(365K) woulditwork.mp3(365K) woulditwork.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Anyway, I just, uh, I just wanna leave you with that little story before I go out tonight and acto one out of the park."
Tim (Mitch Silpa): "Wait, why are you telling me this? Are you threatening me?"
Joey: "If I was, would it work?"
Tim: "Is this some kind of All About Eve situation?"
Joey: "If it was, would it work?"
Tim: "You know, maybe I am starting to feel a little better."
Joey: "Really?"
Tim: "Yeah, I think I can go on tonight."
Joey: "Well, hey, if that's what you want, Tim, I'm not gonna be the one to stop you. If only I hadn't stpped by."
Tim: "You know, coming in here and trying to talk me into going on you may be the worst understudy ever."
Joey: "You have no idea."


renttheapartment.wav(152K) renttheapartment.mp3(152K) renttheapartment.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Hey, did you rent the apartment yet?"
Alex: "I did finally. Actually to a really nice girl who just moved here from New York."
Joey: "Uh-oh. I hope it's not someone who I slept with and never called back."
Alex: "I doubt it. I mean, what are the odds?"
Joey: "Actually quite high, yeah."


onasubmarine.wav(224K) onasubmarine.mp3(224K) onasubmarine.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "She really seems worth fighting for. BUt remember, the Cajun are an emotional people."
Michael: "Okay, mom, thanks for the advice."
Gina: "And I wanna meet this Raisin."
Michael: "Oh, that's actually gonna be difficult 'cause she lives..."
Joey: "In a submarine!"
Michael: "Yeah, she lives on a submarine."


supersuperpretty.wav(285K) supersuperpretty.mp3(285K) supersuperpretty.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Howard: "Okay, okay, keeping this secret's been torturung me. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can barely Bowflex! Gina, there's an apartment for rent across the way."
Gina: "What?"
Howard: "They didn't want me to tell you, but I want you to live here. I think you deserve to know, 'cause you're super super pretty!"
Joey: "No more Die Hard for you, Howie!"
Howard: "Really? 'Cause I just ordered pizza."
Joey: "Bring it down and we'll talk!"


youknowaboutthis.wav(104K) youknowaboutthis.mp3(104K) youknowaboutthis.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "Did you know about this?"
Joey: "Eh, eh, eh, she had nothing to do with it."
Alex: "It's true, I would've rented it to you in a second. I love having you around. In fact..."
Gina: "Bite me, Blondie!"
Alex: "Okay."


mybaths.wav(112K) mybaths.mp3(112K) mybaths.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "I've got the whole place to myself, I can listen to bad music whenever I want, I can light my smelly candles that you hate and I can take super-long baths."
Joey: "He's always interrupting my baths."


thisboysmother.wav(122K) thisboysmother.mp3(122K) thisboysmother.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "In fact, maybe you should start doing your own laundry."
Joey: "Ha ha!"
Gina: "And maybe you guys should start cooking for yourselves too."
Joey: "Hey, you are this boys' mother."


nailedthatspeach.wav(66K) nailedthatspeach.mp3(66K) nailedthatspeach.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Oh, I can't believe I finally nailed that speach. It was in the wrong play, but still."

 
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