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Joey Episode 106 Joey And The Nemesis price at: amazon


All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).


thermometer.wav(114K) thermometer.mp3(114K) thermometer.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina Tribbiani (Drea de Matteo): "You have a thermometer?"
Joey Tribbiani (Matt LeBlanc): "Uh, I think I do, yeah. When I left Days of our lives, I took a whole box of stuff."
Gina: "You mean, they just let you take all that stuff?"
Joey: "When you shove it down your pants, they don't seem to mind."


took20takes.wav(149K) took20takes.mp3(149K) took20takes.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael Tribbiani (Paulo Costanzo): "Why is there writing all over everything?"
Joey: "Oh, that's dialogue. I used the props as cheat sheets when I had to remember difficult medical jargon."
Michael: "Hi, I'm Dr. Ramorey."
Joey: "That took twenty takes."


toolsofmytrade.wav(191K) toolsofmytrade.mp3(191K) toolsofmytrade.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "This stuff really takes me back. All those years playing a doctor, I feel like I actually became one, you know? And these were the tools of my trade. Knee hammer, ear looker, ahh, necklace."


outragedman.wav(143K) outragedman.mp3(143K) outragedman.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Uh, Hi, I'm here to read for the part of Outraged Man."
Woman #1 (Susan Leslie): "Just sign in right here."
Joey: "Like hell I will! Sorry, I bet people have been doing that all day."
Woman #1: "Nope, you're the only one."
Joey: "Alright."


smallactors.wav(125K) smallactors.mp3(125K) smallactors.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Sure are a lot of people here for such a small part."
Actor #1 (Tom R. Hughes): "There are no small parts, only small actors."
Joey: "Do you mean children?"




brianmichaeldavidscott.wav(78K) brianmichaeldavidscott.mp3(78K) brianmichaeldavidscott.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Brian Michael David Scott (Bob Odenkirk): "I'm Brian Michael David Scott."
Joey: "Man, that's a lot of names."
Brian: "I'm a lot of actor."


callmyagent.wav(493K) callmyagent.mp3(493K) callmyagent.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Brian: "Man, this audition is taking a long time. I'm gonna call my agent. Speed dial. Hi, Lisa, it's Bri Mi. Look, huh, what? You're kidding. No, wait, wait, don't blame yourself. I'll call you back. Bad news, man, they canceled this audition. They gave the part to semeone else."
Joey: "And no one here told us? Now I really am Outraged Man. Well, who'd they give it to?"
Brian: "Probably someone who was willing to sleep with the producers. That's how this town works isn't it? There, I said it!"
Joey: "Well, I guess we can go, then, huh?"
Brian: "You know, you go. I'm gonna stick around. My apartment doesn't have air conditioning."


feelaboutdude.wav(73K) feelaboutdude.mp3(73K) feelaboutdude.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Really great meeting you, Brian..."
Brian: "Brian Michael David Scott."
Joey: "Ho do you feel about Dude?"
Brian: "Awesome, my brother."


gotthosefor.wav(202K) gotthosefor.mp3(202K) gotthosefor.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Hey Gina, look, uh, you've been here for a couple of days now, without a break. Why don't you let me take over? You know, have a little Gina time."
Gina: "I don't have Gina time. I'm a mother. I don't go out. I don't go on dates. I don't have fun. I don't do anything for myself anymore."
Joey: "(He points at Gina's chest.) So, you got those for Michael?"


flushmysystem.wav(249K) flushmysystem.mp3(249K) flushmysystem.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Yeah, she's not going anywhere. How you feeling?"
Michael: "Not great. But, everything's gonna be fine tomorrow."
Joey: "How do you figure?"
Michael: "Well, if she doesn't leave by then, I'm gonna kill myself."
Joey: "Don't be so dramatic."
Michael: "No, she said we were gonna flush my system, Joey. I don't know what that means."
Joey: "Yeah, your grandmother was the same way when I was sick. I've had my system flushed. It makes you ask yourself some serious questions."


inthebook.wav(190K) inthebook.mp3(190K) inthebook.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Fine, alright, I'll go watch tv in my room."
Gina: "Oh, no, no, no, no, no, you can't I put the humidifier in there. It's filling up with steam."
Joey: "What, you just take over my room? I got private stuff in there."
Gina: "Well, if you're worried about me reading your diary, it's too late. 'Dear diary, Gina's mean to me.'"
Joey: "That's going straight in the book."


getmethekeys.wav(90K) getmethekeys.mp3(90K) getmethekeys.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "Look, why don't you just go to my place. You could stay there 'til he gets better."
Joey: "I don't wanna do that."
Gina: "There's lasagna in the fridge and I have Cinemax."
Joey: "Get me the keys!"


addedajoey.wav(69K) addedajoey.mp3(69K) addedajoey.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "You are awesome."
Brian: "No, I'm just Brian Michael David Scott, Joey."
Joey: "Hey, you added a Joey."


signlanguage.wav(325K) signlanguage.mp3(325K) signlanguage.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Brian: "Uh, this casting director is deaf. So you gotta scream all your lines."
Joey: "Thanks, that is good to know. (yelling) Maybe your husband's funeral isn't the best place to tell you this, but I love you sharren! I love you with all my heart! (still yelling) So when will I know if I got it? (to himself) What's the middle finger in sign language?"


6goesinto40.wav(134K) 6goesinto40.mp3(134K) 6goesinto40.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Bobbie Morganstern (Jennifer Coolidge): "Yeah, I wanted to explain to you how the business works. See, you book a job, and I get ten percent. Do you know what ten percent of zero is?"
Joey: "Uh, six goes into fourty..."


getthatport.wav(81K) getthatport.mp3(81K) getthatport.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Bobbie: "Is he the reason you went into an audition, you threw away your script and started barking?"
Joey: "Yeah, did I get that part?"


upyourpooper.wav(39K) upyourpooper.mp3(39K) upyourpooper.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Bobbie: "Your little friend is shoving crap up your pooper."


putitinmylips.wav(67K) putitinmylips.mp3(67K) putitinmylips.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "I can't believe this."
Bobbie: "Yeah, well, I can't believe they take the fat out of my ass and they put it in my lips, but they do."


whoareyou.wav(368K) whoareyou.mp3(368K) whoareyou.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Roger (Josh Randall): "Hey, baby-doll."
Joey: "What?!"
Roger: "What?! What?! Who are you?!"
Joey: "Who are you?!"
Roger: "I'm Roger!"
Joey: "I'm Joey! Well, that doesn't help us at all!"
Roger: "I'm Gina's boyfriend."
Joey: "Gina doesn't have a boyfriend. I'm her brother, I would know."
Roger: "You're her brother, oh, you're not supposed to know about me. Could you just pretend you don't know what's going on?"
Joey: "I don't know what's going on!"
Roger: "Now, all we have to do is decide which one of us gets to stay."
Joey: "Get out of here!"


nerdfort.wav(117K) nerdfort.mp3(117K) nerdfort.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "When he was 12 and I was seeing this guy, he built a bio-dome in the backyard and he wouldn't come out until I stopped dating him."
Joey: "What's a bio-dome?"
Gina: "It's like a nerd-fort."


ihaveneeds.wav(59K) ihaveneeds.mp3(59K) ihaveneeds.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "Okay, you know that I'm a woman and that I have needs."
Michael: "Oh, I don't like the direction of this at all."


excitedabout.wav(77K) excitedabout.mp3(77K) excitedabout.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "Yes, yes, yes!"
Joey: "Alright! What am I excited about?"


beggingtobreathe.wav(127K) beggingtobreathe.mp3(127K) beggingtobreathe.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "We could be free! We could do whatever we want! We could-- we could walk around here naked!"
Michael: "We can! But let's not!"
Joey: "Sorry, buddy, my parts are begging to breathe."


lickedhisface.wav(141K) lickedhisface.mp3(141K) lickedhisface.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Brian: "When I saw you at that first audittion, I was like, I should just go home, this guy's amazing."
Joey: "Yeah, well, the director from yesterday doesn't think so. I barked at him and licked his face!"
Brian: "I never told you to lick him."
Joey: "I was in the moment!"


smallchildren.wav(176K) smallchildren.mp3(176K) smallchildren.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Brian: "I'm just a hack who's lucky to get a job. You're Joey Tribbiani. You're a real actor."
Joey: "Hey, look, man. There are no real actors, only small children."


damnyoupickupmilk.wav(75K) damnyoupickupmilk.mp3(75K) damnyoupickupmilk.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Damn you... (he looks at his hand) Pick Up Milk... (other hand) Brian Michael David Scott!"


kissandtell.wav(68K) kissandtell.mp3(68K) kissandtell.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "Roger, you know Joey."
Roger: "Know him, we were in bed together."
Joey: "Hey, hey, don't kiss and tell, Rog."


cocktailyager.wav(44K) cocktailyager.mp3(44K) cocktailyager.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "Perhaps a cocktail is in order. I trust everyone here likes Yager."


callingmenames.wav(209K) callingmenames.mp3(209K) callingmenames.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "So, Rog, we are so glad you are with Gina. We've never seen her happier."
Roger: "Really? She's always yelling at me and calling me names."
Joey: "Oh, no, no, no, no. That's how we Tribbianis show affection. Nerd."
Michael: "Washed up, soap actor."
Joey: "Virgin."


lostatoe.wav(475K) lostatoe.mp3(475K) lostatoe.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "What do you do for a living?"
Roger: "Well, I was working for a big construction company in Newport, but I lost a toe on the job."
Michael: "Oh, man."
Joey: "Oh."
Michael: "I'm sorry."
Roger: "Oh, don't be, I made a ton of money off it. I mean, one minute, I'm on this table saw, drinking beer, and the next minute I got all the suits shoving checks at me."
Joey: "Great."
Roger: "Yeah, but I burnt through that money pretty quick. So I gotta figure out a way to get some cash."
Joey: "Not anonther toe."
Roger: "No, no, no, no. I'm gonna lose a finger. I'm thinking about losing a pinky. And there's so many ways you can lose a firger: you got drills, saws, sanders, punch presses. Whoops, huh, I better get used to not using that one, huh?"


jeansthatsahobby.wav(164K) jeansthatsahobby.mp3(164K) jeansthatsahobby.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "Well, uh, work's not everything. I'm sure you have some cool hobbies."
Roger: "I like a nice pair of jeans."
Joey: "Um jeans, that's a hobby?"
Roger: "Oh, I'm not a professional or anything."


pretendtothink.wav(177K) pretendtothink.mp3(177K) pretendtothink.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "Joey, the important thing is he likes her and he's taking her off my hands."
Joey: "Oh, whoa, whoa, Michael, that's really selfish. What's more important? Your space, or your mother's happiness?"
Michael: "My space, and I had to pretend to think about it."


grownman.wav(127K) grownman.mp3(127K) grownman.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "I just thought that it would be good for you to have someone in your life so you wouldn't have to worry about me so much. You know, I am a grown man."
Joey: "You're gonna fill out some, right?"


thirdgirl.wav(129K) thirdgirl.mp3(129K) thirdgirl.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "And you are a catch. Are you kidding me? You're smart and you're funny and you're beautiful. All my friends have crushes on you, mom."
Gina: "Yeah, well, I'm like the third girl those guys have seen."


upmypooper.wav(136K) upmypooper.mp3(136K) upmypooper.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Brian: "Okay, look, I know you're probably still mad about that stairwell thing bit you know, I saved your life. Right after you got locked in there, three masked gunmen burst into the..."
Joey: "No more crap up my pooper!"


locationchange.wav(433K) locationchange.mp3(433K) locationchange.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Did you get a phone call from your agency this morning? 'Hello, Bri-Mi, it's Lisa, the location of your audition's been changed.'"
Brian: "What?"
Joey: "The location wasn't changed. That audiion is going on right now on the other side of town, my brother."
Brian: "I was perfect for that part!"
Joey: "Yeah, well, too bad. So, you better think long and hard before you mess with me again, 'cause from now on I'm fighting back. Are we clear?"
Brian: "Yeah. Except for one thing, if I'm missing that audition, aren't you missing it too"
Joey: "Come on, I'll give you a ride!"

 
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