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National Lampoons Van Wilder: rectalitch.wav (305 K) 

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Richard: "He's nothing more than a mild rectal itch. And you know what you do about a mild rectal itch gordo?"
Gordon: "What's that Richand?"
Richard: "You scrath it. And then you scratch it some more. The more you scratch at it, the worse it gets. Until finally, you have nothing left but a raw, chafed, possibly infected anal cavity. And, then it's won. When all you had to do from the start was take a medicated pad and smother it."

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