Worried Freshman (Ryan Carlberg): "It's like this itchy, rashy, burning sensation. And it hurts when I..."
Worried Freshman: "No, when I pee!"
Van: "You hooked up with a burner. Didn't you?"
Worried Freshman: "yeah."
Van: "She seamed like a nice girl, said it was her first time. Yeah, you should always check the quality of the turf before you step out onto the field. Liston, go to the campus hoppital. See stu. Tell him Van sent you. And remember, Don't be a fool, wrap your tool."
Worried Freshman: "Thanks Van, thanks a lot."
Van: "Dont't thank me. Thank penicillin."